One of the biggest issues in any blended family is dealing with your partner's ex. If the ex is sane and they understand boundaries there will be little to no issues. If they are over the other person and act like an adult, there WILL be no issues. Of course, there may be some negative vibes due to territorial issues over the kids, but that can be easily overlooked. However, if the ex is about playing games, is sneaky, or has power issues, you will continually have issues popping up.
*sigh* Now, of course, if the ex is a woman (or a man with triflin female tendencies) this road is harder to go down. Women tend to manipulate men in an underhand way, with seemingly innocent ploys. A spouse that cannot (or will not) recognize these actions will create division in the household Our method of dealing with this is to be open and honest about issues we see and to pray hard for ourselves and all members of our household. We also attempt to have a respectful relationship where we can communicate with the children's mother. It hasn't always been this way. Even noe, there are some days where I want to curse people out and or act a fool (Honestly, sometimes I do...) We have worked really hard at developing and opening lines of communication and are in constant prayer. I constantly have to remind myself to breathe and let go of the pieces of my bonus babies' lives that I cannot control. And for MY piece of mind, I let my partner know when the expectation are too much or I have just had it with some aspect of the arrangement. I have no qualms about telling my spouse that I feel some interactions are inappropriate, and to his credit, he usually respects my wishes. Hopefully we can continue to keep the piece and work on forgiving past hurts in this situation. Most importantly, we hope to keep the focus on the children and create an environment where they can grow and mature successfully. Keep praying for me people because the Lord (and Anthony) knows I need it!! :-) |
AuthorElisabeth is a new mother of a baby girl and a step mother to two bonus children: one boy and one girl. This blog will serve to document her trials and successes in managing a blended family and being a new mom and wife. Enjoy! Archives
September 2015
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